Jen and her husband were in their 70s and had five grandchildren, three granddaughters, and two grandsons. They were always there for their grandchildren whenever they needed them.
Recently, their youngest granddaughter, Eloise, got married. Following their tradition, after the wedding, the grandparents would purchase the least expensive item from the wedding registry and then gift the couple $40,000. They kept this tradition a secret, and everyone had respected their wishes to maintain confidentiality.
However, when Jen called Eloise to discuss her gift, Eloise expressed disappointment. "Seriously, Grandma? An air fryer? That's the cheapest thing on my registry!" she exclaimed.
Jen defended her choice, stating the air fryer was practical. Eloise responded, "Practical? You could do better than that. Everyone knows you have the money. It's embarrassing that you'd be this stingy with me."
Feeling frustrated, Jen finally revealed, "You're right. We are frugal, old, and perhaps not very useful. But what you didn't know is that we planned to give you a $40,000 check the day before the wedding."
The argument escalated. "You just don't love me enough to show it. With all the wedding stress I'm under, this feels like you don't even care," Eloise retorted before hanging up.
Subsequently, the grandparents chose not to give Eloise the money. A week later, Eloise called back after learning that her grandparents had indeed given $40,000 to each grandchild.
"I found out you gave money to everyone else. Why didn't I get anything?" she asked.
The grandparents explained, "Given your reaction to the wedding gift, we didn't feel it was right to proceed with giving you the money."
Eloise pleaded, "So, you're punishing me because I was upset about an air fryer?"
"It's not about the air fryer, Eloise. It's about how you spoke to us, the disrespect. That's not something we can condone or support," Jen replied.
"But that's so unfair! I was stressed, Grandma. Planning a wedding is hard, and I just snapped. I didn't mean any of it," Eloise sobbed.
"We understand weddings are stressful, but actions and words have consequences. We hoped you'd value family and love over material things," Jen said.
Eloise then threatened to skip Christmas, accusing her grandparents of excluding her. Jen reassured her, "We love you very much. This isn't about cutting you off. We hope you'll reflect on this and understand our decision."
ANOTHER STORY FROM TIKTOK ABOUT A GRANDMOTHER WHO DOESN'T BRING GIFTS WHENEVER SHE WOULD VISIT
DeeDee from the TikTok account, MoreThanGrand, offers advice to new parents and grandparents. One of her posts stirred controversy on the platform.
DeeDee mentioned that she lives away from her family and sees her grandchildren a few times a year. She decided not to constantly buy her grandchildren gifts, explaining, "I'm frugal and don't want to waste money on things that will be discarded."
Her main goal was to make her grandkids look forward to seeing her, not just as a gift-giver but as a supportive grandmother. She often read to her grandchildren and played board games with them, even taking the game with her so they'd anticipate her return to play again.
Some people criticized her approach, while others praised it. One person commented, "I had a grandma like that, and I thought of her as miserly."@morethangrand Gifts, gifts, gifts! All thise little presents add up—and sometimes it damages the relationship between parents and grandparents. Grandparemt who value that relationship listen to parents’ concerns. Are parents and grandparents on the same page in your family? #grandparents #grandparent #CommunicationTips #GrandparentsLove #AdultChildren #NewGrandparent #newgrandma#newgrandparents #newgrandma #Grandparenting #HealthyBoundaries #Boomer #EffectiveCommunication #GentleGrandparenting ♬ original sound - MoreThanGrand
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